Ellie and Renard » a blog of personal style, love, and all things aesthetic.

i haven’t felt like myself over the last two weeks.

last night i discovered the reason why. to test my theory, i made a decision to skip out on one of my nightly (and daily) habits (*cough*cough* “Dots” *ahem*). instead of quickly jumping into bed, only to play my usual billion rounds of Dots and staying up way past my bed time, i brushed my teeth for what felt like a good hour, flossed (i know i’m not the only one who has a hard time remembering to floss), plugged my phone in to the charger, prayed (i hadn’t been doing this lately. *insert ashamed look*), and went to bed.

this morning i woke up feeling energized. i showered, dried my hair on medium (instead of rushing through it on high power and getting frizzier hair), actually used a facial cleanser for the first time in years (oh Burt’s Bees, you are magic), put on a bit of makeup (first time in weeks), PRAYED!!!, and left for work on time.

and today i feel like myself. “miracle”, right?

i let that game consume my life.

this morning i reflected on the past 2 weeks, and realized that as nic and i talked sometime this weekend, i sat there playing that stupid game the entire time. no wonder he always rolls his eyes at me when my phone is in my hands. not going to lie, i feel horrible about it.

so i’m happy to report that i’ve just permanently deleted this game from my phone. and i don’t feel one ounce of remorse. the only remorse i feel is for all of that time i lost and for the attention that i should have given to my husband but didn’t.

there are so many more distractions i can eliminate from my life. and so many good things i can incorporate. i have goals. big goals.

and don’t worry. i’ll share them. they’ll be on my june goal list, which i’ll be blogging about later this week, along with a look back at my may goal list and how it went.

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moral of the story is, if you’ve never played the game “dots”, good for you! and keep on going!

if you do have it, and you are addicted to it like i was, i challenge you to remove it from your life.

that goes for any addictions really.

remove it.

you’ll feel so much better, i promise.

 

ship without sails;

our bed,

a vast ocean.

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i have a love for short “poems” and simple blog posts (you can expect to see more of these).

last week and the beginning of this week have been a little rough with nic gone. i was feeling particularly discouraged yesterday. but today is a new day. and today i am feeling inspired, excited, and blessed (maybe because i know nic is getting home in an hour instead of coming home on friday. i’m doing a happy dance).

i have so many things on my mind. so many wonderful things. i’ve been working on personal and business goals and my wedding pricing and info guide over the last couple of weeks, and i’m feeling so inspired. the business side of photography is getting less frustrating, and more exciting to me. i’ve been researching like crazy because it all is so fascinating to me.

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last night i went to a friend’s bridal shower and my best friend and her baby (her sweet, scrumptious and seriously the most beautiful baby i’ve ever seen) were there, and my friends were asking me if i was next in line to have a baby. haha. as much as i wish i could have a baby right now, there is no way i am ready for it. although i dream about having a sweet babe, this life adventure can wait 2 years. sometimes i find myself literally crying at the thought of having to wait, but i can do it. i can wait.

people say not to plan on being financially ready, or waiting for other things to happen before you have kids, which i agree with. i could care less if nic and i haven’t even accomplished half of the things we want to by the time i get pregnant. but for me, it makes sense to wait. nic needs to be able to support us on his own income (we’re already pretty close to that point, just need a couple raises in the next 2 years, and we’ll be good to go). because there is no way i’m having a regular job while someone else takes care of my future child. that’s where my photography goals come in. where i can be doing it full time. i can be at home 90% of the time. the other 10% is when i’ll be out shooting, and having nic do the duties.

it’s not obvious that i’ve thought about this often, right?

anyways, my point is that my goal is to be doing photography full time by 2015. and i’m really excited by this goal. like beyond excited.

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what goals have you set for yourself lately? i’d love to hear about them and cheer you on!

who knew one week could go by so fast and so slow at the same time. this is the first time nic has been away for so long (he’s gone camping before for 4 days, but that was for fun). to say i’ve been on edge and freaking cranky today would be an understatement. i’m afraid i might break several teeth due to clenching and grinding them so much today. i’ve been so anxious for nic to get home. i’ve missed him so much!

i was doing okay sleeping by myself for the whole week, until really early this morning, i was having a bad dream that me and another lady were almost kidnapped. but i saved our lives by being obnoxious to the two guys that were trying to take us. they didn’t want to have to deal with me so they left us alone. i woke up from that dream and felt like something was horribly wrong. like someone might be in our house. or at least would be. i couldn’t fall asleep. so finally after shuffling several times, i grabbed nic’s handgun and went through the house. nothing was out of place and there was no one there. i went back to bed and still couldn’t sleep.

i finally shut off my brain and 20 minutes later had to wake up and get ready. that could be another reason for my bad mood today.

i’ve never been so grateful for nic’s warm body sleeping next to me every night until now. knowing that he would protect me if anything happened. a mound of cold pillows just isn’t the same. as much as i wish the pillows would do the searching of the house, they just wouldn’t.

only 3 more hours and he’ll be home. holding me tight.

i love being married more than anything. people argue that getting married young makes you miss out on life opportunities. that you can’t travel as much, get good schooling, or live on your own before marriage, etc. i feel bad for the people that plan to wait until they think they’ve “mastered life” before they get married. they’re missing out on the greatest joy. i love being able to talk about goals and cheer each other on. to pray together. to learn together. to laugh uncontrollably together. to grow together.

i love that this time alone has made me appreciate and love my husband more. i’m so grateful that he is mine for eternity. and that these 7 weeks are so miniscule compared to this grand eternity that we have.

the saying is so true, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

my heart will be pretty dang fond of this boy in 7 weeks.

a few posts ago i promised that i would review some products i’ve purchased recently that are my new favorites. and today i’ve finally had the time to gather and photograph them, because i have today and tomorrow off from work. i feel like there was a product i forgot to include. if i remember, i’ll save it for next time. ;)

clockwise from left:

back to basics shampoo& conditioner // this is the most expensive shampoo and conditioner i’ve purchased. but oh my goodness. the price is so worth it. it lasts a really long time. it smells like heaven. and it makes my hair feel and smell so good that i want to eat it. if i showered at night and slept on wet hair after using any other shampoo and conditioner, my hair would be super oily when i’d wake up in the morning. not with this shampoo and conditioner. i could just kiss it.

up & up moisturizing lotion // i’ll be honest, i’ve NEVER used face moisturizer before. so i don’t have anything to compare this moisturizer to. but, i will say that it does make my skin feel so healthy. and i love it. i don’t know how i never used moisturizer before.

lorac pro mascara // i asked my sweet friend becki of whippycake what mascara she would recommend. for the past 5+years i’ve been using covergirl’s lash blast (which was a decent drug-store mascara), but i was ready to buy a higher quality mascara. becki said this was her absolute favorite. i bought it and loved it. at first i was a little disappointed by it not being waterproof, but as i kept wearing it, i became grateful for the non-waterproof-ness. because i love that it just wipes off in the shower and i don’t have to buy any heavy duty makeup remover (yeah, i suck and don’t remove my makeup every night, but hey, my face doesn’t complain by breaking out, so i’m okay with it).

e.l.f. brushes // these are a “drug-store” buy. but i feel like they’re really good quality for being so cheap. and i love the sleek black. they feel professional without the high price.

l’oreal infallible lipstick // this particular shade is “beyonce red”. this is my new favorite lipstick (thanks to a friend from work for telling me about it!!). it’s like a paint brush and you just paint it on your lips. and it stays on and looks good for at least 15 hours. the only thing you have to touch up is the lip conditioner (which smells like candy. yum. and who wouldn’t want to smell candy all day long underneath their sniffer? party poopers, that’s who.). the only thing i would warn you about is that if you try to put it on in the car, you could possibly end up looking like a clown. it dries quickly and the only way to get it off is with an oil based makeup remover (or i use olive oil). and don’t sleep with it on. your lips will be so dry in the morning and i noticed it was much harder to get it off after such a long time.

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do you have any products that are your fave? tell me about it! i love trying new stuff.